


There's Always an Us

by fheyiibannannie



Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: Angst, Loosely based off of What A Time, M/M, because I had to do this
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-01-25
Updated: 2019-01-25
Packaged: 2019-10-16 01:37:23
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,536
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17540222
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/fheyiibannannie/pseuds/fheyiibannannie
Summary: Niall is made up of words, this Harry knows. Whatever feelings he lacks in saying, more or less can be found on his songs.





	There's Always an Us

 

Niall is made up of words, this Harry knows. Whatever feelings he lacks in saying, more or less can be found on his songs. One has to read between the lines. And he knows. Well, he used to know how. Which is hard, Harry admits. The first time he listened to Niall’s album, he nearly didn’t even finished, with how his heart hurts. Still can remember calling him after, not caring if his voice still has traces of how he was feeling. Can remember the disappointment as the call goes through Niall’s voicemail. Can remember the text that was sent the morning after, a simple “im sorry I didn’t get back your call last night, H.”  
And he understands, of course he does. But this doesn’t make it any less painful.

And now, as he sits alone on a bedroom he’d claimed his for the past few weeks, listening to a song he knows is going to hurt him, all the burrowed pain came back surfacing again. The sting of tears was hard to hold back, as he listens to Niall sing of a love that had been, and was lost. Listens as he sings of a love he dreamt that was now in the past, and his chest hurts. To be fair, his chest hurts every time he hears Niall sings. But this pain is different. It’s as if Niall was letting him feel his pain, moon with the way he sings. Lets him feel the sadness, the longing, the heartbreak, and he feels it all. Weeps with how much he’s feeling. All because of just one song. Christ, he’s pathetic.

He picks up his phone, dialing a number he knows by heart, and steels himself for disappointment. Doesn’t care if it’s the middle of the night at LA right now. His breath is bated as waited…

… and nearly sobbed after someone answered. The gruff “lo?” on the other line made Harry close his eyes, few silent tears leaking out. One word and he’s already crying. God.

“ _Lo? Haz? You there?_ ” ,Niall queried, and he nearly dropped the phone. Niall’s voice has a sleepy and, and he felt bad for waking him up.

“Yes. Niall. Hi.” ,he breathed, can feel the fondness seep through his voice, and if Niall notices, he doesn’t mention.

“ _How’re ye, Haz? Heard you’re forming a Japanese pop group there, huh?_ ” ,Niall chuckles, and he smiled, wipes off the staved tears. Somehow, Niall knowing things about him, even after what happened between them, warms his heart. Okay. He can do this. This is just Niall. His best mate, the love of his life (although that is a matter for another time)

“Yeh. Although I’d be more of a drummer that lead.” ,he chided, and can hear Niall’s soft laughter, triggering lots of shared memories between them; early mornings spent at the same bed, curled up together and soft whispers, because there’s was no need to be loud. He closes his eyes once more.

“ _Twat. Saw that vid of you singing a Nirvana song. Proper rock star eh?_ ” ,Niall laughed, can hear the rustle of sheets and Harry’s sure he’s in bed. “ _Gonna make an emo grunge band instead? Sing bunch of Nirvana?_ ” ,Niall added, and laughed boisterously as he heard Harry’s indignant snort.

“Shut up.” Harry wont admit it but he loves it when Niall takes the piss out of him. Makes him feel special, in some way.

“ _Missed you_.” ,Niall whispered, and its much softer, making Harry’s heart hurt.

“Missed you too. Congrats on your new song. Sounded like a proper angel, you.” ,he complimented, and he can picture the pink smuttering on Niall’s cheek now, he can bet on it. He doesn’t do well with compliments, turns bashful and smile-y, as if he couldn’t believe.

“ _Ay, basically sang for 10 seconds or so, but thank you, Haz. Means a lot._ ” ,Niall said. “ _Was proper nervous about that one. With the way people would interpret and stuff._ ” ,he added, and Harry can feel himself agreeing.

“Yeah? I know what you mean.” ,he whispered, can hear the soft sigh from the other line, and not for the first time tonight, his heart aches.

“ _You do. Don’t doubt it. Smartest cookie I know_.” ,Niall voiced out, a small chuckle following the words, and he’s pretty sure Niall knows he’s blushing.

“Yeah. Pretty catchy lyrics too. _“I know we didn’t make sense. I admit that I think about it sometimes…”_ ,Harry softly sang, and he knows Niall’s smart, knows that he’s catching up on the reason behind this call. Still doesn’t expect the soft, almost sardonic laugh on the other line.

“ _Yeah. Holds so much truth, I’m afraid._ ” ,Niall said, and that’s basically an admission, of sorts. Harry would take what he can get. “ _Reminiscing_.” ,he added, more like an afterthought.

“About us?” ,Harry asked, felt bold enough to do so. He wants answers, and nothing’s going to get answered if he let his fears rule.

Niall’s silence on the other line is telling.

“… because I do. Too.” ,he adds, as Niall still hasn’t said a word. “I always do.” ,he finishes, can’t say more because he’s afraid he’d reveal everything.

“ _Then why do you always leave?_ ” ,Niall asks, and he hears a soft sniffle and no no no this was not how he viewed this conversation this would go.

“What?”

“ _You always leave. I mean, its partly my fault because I never ask you to stay. But.. you always leave._ ” ,Niall whispered, voice already close to tears.

“Niall…”

 _“I mean.. I know I don’t have the right to ask you to stay, because, I don’t know if we’re serious back then_.” ,Niall rambles on. _“I mean, you know how I feel about you, right_?” ,Niall asked.

“I do.” ,he whispered, sobbing softly. “I do. Niall.”

“ _Then why do you always leave_?” ,Niall asked again.

“I-Niall…” ,he cries, voice finally breaks out, and Niall’s no better.

“ _Harry. You always leave._ ” ,Niall whimpered, and they’re both crying, and tearing their hearts out. “ _You always leave me. And as much as I want you to myself, I cant. You’re much of a free bird to get tied to me. And I don’t want to be the person to break your wings. People like you, Harry, deserves to spread free.”_ ,he mumbled, and Harry’s heart breaks further.

“ _And you know what’s worst? You can leave me hanging for a long, long time and I wouldn’t mind, Harry. As long as you’re coming back to me_.” ,Niall said. “ _As long as I know that you’re coming back to me_.”

He sobs then, loud and unabashed, and the way Niall stay silent on the other line tells him just how much the Irish man feels for him.

“ _Shhhhh, pet. Stop crying, please._ ” ,Niall pleads, and no, he can’t. Now that he realized just how blind he had been all these years. That they could have been together all this time if it weren’t for his idiot self.

“U-until now?” ,Harry hiccuped.

“ _Until what now?”_

“You still feel that way till now?” ,he asked, and can feel the sigh Niall releases.

“ _Harry, I just woke up to answer your call when I could have ignored it because in case you missed it, it’s past two in the morning here, and you know how I love sleeping, H. Feel special yet?”_ ,Niall chided, and he smiled.

“I mean.. You ignored my call when I tried to, few days after hearing your album so.. just making sure.” ,he plays along.

“ _Idiot. What do you want me to do, then? Fly out to you_?” ,Niall asked, and yes, that sounds pretty interesting.

“ _Because I will, Haz. If only to prove a point_.” ,Niall confessed, and Harry can feel the hold of this boy on his heart. Can’t hold the three words that’s been bugging him.

“I love you.” ,he whispered. “In case I haven’t told you. I do. I love you, Niall. I do.” ,he repeats, can hear Niall’s chuckles on the other line.

“ _I’m so so glad to hear that, Pet. So so glad._ ” ,Niall sounds so relieved, and he’s crying for an entire different reason now.

“I really do. Don’t even remember how long.” ,he admitted, his chest finally feeling light as a feather. “Don’t know what my life was before knowing you. Before loving you.” ,he states, can feel Niall’s relief practically pouring out.

“ _Harry_ …” ,Niall sighs.

  
“I wanna see you. I-is that alright?” ,he feels the need to ask. And can hear Niall snorts softly.

“ _You tell me, H. I already feel bad that we’re confessing these deep feelings on the phone all because you’ve heard a song that’s remotely about us. And I’m not even there to kiss you!!!”_ ,Niall hmphs, and Harry laughs. “ _But seriously, want me to fly out there?”_ ,Niall asks.

“No no. Let me see what I can do about flying to LA. You’ve been doing all the effort these past few years. It’s time I give it all back. You deserve all the good things, anyway. Wooing included.” ,Harry says, making Niall laugh. He loves making him laugh.

“ _Ahhh can’t wait, pet_.” ,Niall fondly whispered. “ _I love you._ ”

“And I love you.”

 

**Author's Note:**

> Wow thay was obviously rushed. Okbye


End file.
